To Leave and to Cleave..

I've been off commission from writing for about a week now and I have important reasons: We are in the process of bringing my mother to live with us all the way from Colombia, South America. This process has not been without obstacles, between documents that need to be resubmitted to Express mail that needs to be delivered the road has been anything but smooth. But we are convinced that it's God's time for this to happen and it will come to pass when He wants it.

In the meantime, the wait is long and full of impatience, I can't stop daydreaming of what is ahead. For eleven years now, I have lived away from my mother, raising my family, giving birth to my children all without her, I guess that when I pledged to leave and to cleave on my wedding day, God took me upon it and send me on this journey of life with my new family, stripping me off every possible hint of dependency.

You see, growing up I was the oldest of my siblings, I was the child that was always very attached to mom; I used to sleep in my mom's bed (when I could) all the way to high school, we would have this long conversations and laugh till we dropped, I use to comply with her wishes better than my sisters did and she was so loving to us I never imagine to live away from her ever in a hundred years. Then I met my husband who lived in the states, we married and moved here.

The first year was really hard for me, but I adapted, however the absence of mom was always a sad reminder of what was left behind. Not being able to share the happiest moments of my life with her was unbearable to me, many times I questioned the reasoning behind our separation and it wasn't until many years later that it came to me that God had a purpose for it all.

I needed to be on my own, I needed to experience life for myself and taste my own tears. Mom is a born servant, she would have taken over my duties in an instant, she would have probably helped me in every way she could and I would not have developed the tough skin of motherhood that I was able to acquire without her presence. I would have continued to be a child, I would not be the woman that I am today.

I believe though, that this is the time God has selected for us to be reunited, for her to enjoy her six grandchildren. As I anticipate her coming here, many memories come to my mind, how she as a single mom was an example of courage, hard work and service to others for my sisters and I. My favorite memory is the fact that my mother always believed in me, she encouraged me to reach the sky, I never heard a negative remark or criticism from her, she gave me wings to fly, she delighted in me and I knew it. I guess that's what good mothers do. I'll be pleased if I could be half the woman she is... a true warrior.

Finding joy in unexpected places

It's past midnight and I find myself doing my bedtime rounds: fold the laundry, put the last load in the dryer, turn on the dishwasher, last wipe and pick up around the kitchen counter, I grab my water bottle and up the stairs I go, turning in for the night; tomorrow I'll do it all over again...

It seems like there could be little to no joy found in these mundane tasks of the everyday life.
Another dirty diaper to change, changing clothes on a child just minutes after you got them showered and dressed ?! or wiping messes that seem to appear out of nowhere like magic. Why even bother to clean the floor? It's going to get messy again ! Sometimes as I'm doing it I think to myself , didn't I just do this a while ago?

I confess there are days when the mere thought of doing these menial things make me wish I could stay in bed all day but my sense of responsibility doesn't allow me to. I also wrestle with rejoicing throughout these chores that seem repetitive and at times meaningless. I guess the main questions are:

Is God interested in these tasks? and could there be a way to find joy while doing them? .

First of all, the things we mothers do in our home for our families is our service to them and to The Lord. We are servants! God has appointed us to be the deliverers of His love to our children and love in its purest form is demonstrated through service. " As unto the Lord" to me means as if Jesus is the recipient of my service.
Philippians 2 :5-7 We need to have the same attitude Jesus had toward service.

Philippians 2:3 says Do nothing out of selfish ambition

Here are some ways we can exercise servanthood and experience joy at the same time:

• Enjoying a baby's smile while changing a diaper


• Memorizing Scripture or praying while washing dishes


• Listening to a preaching tape or singing along a worship song while folding laundry or mopping the floor.


• Helping a child with homework while cooking


• Listen to a child read to you or read to her while nursing the baby


• Make cleaning a family business, let the children in on the fun


• Reminding yourself: I'm doing this as unto The Lord!

Something that keeps coming to my mind when I'm tempted to grumble about the "new" mess to be cleaned or the fifth time I have to refill a cup of milk, is that God has designed this to make me a servant, to get out of my selfish mode and bring me to a complete surrender of my will. Dying to the right to take a nap when I need it or have "me"time every now and then. I have to chose to die daily to my own desire to have it my way.

But it's not all about sadness or dying to rights, there is joy! . There is joy when I get a smile and an unexpected thank you in return , a hug, or a beautiful painting with MOM written all over it , or fresh picked dandelions,or the good feeling you get at the end of the day when you know that even as inadequate or imperfect you think you are as a mother, your children were taken care of and nurtured by none other than you. Today I was not feeling like myself, maybe coming down with a cold but I stretched myself to be there for my children , we read books, made some crafts, finished school work, watched a movie and cuddled together, I can sleep in peace knowing I did my best to serve them and my Lord.